The Star Trek Original Series Uchronia
by Eliza Donelittle
Summary: Leonard & the Big Bang Theory gang go to a fancy dress party and end up switching places with the crew of the Starship Enterprise (original series). They have to deal with the voyage of the Starship Enterprise while trying to figure out how to get home. Meanwhile Captain Kirk & crew have the same problem in The Big Bang Theory universe.
1. Chapter 1

The Star Trek Original Series Uchronia

_Author's note: Uchronia means an alternate history or hypothetical or fictional time-period of our world so I haven't used the exact meaning in my title but I thought it was close enough to parallel universe and I was trying to get a title similar to the titles of the Big Bang Theory episodes which I love._

_I've given Penny a last name as she hasn't got one in the show (although apparently it is going to be revealed eventually), as obviously the Big Bang Theory gang would know it._

Chapter One - The Fancy Dress Party

"What do you think?" asked Penny as she, Bernadette and Amy came through the door into Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Leonard, Raj and Howard gaped, open mouthed, speechless at seeing the three young women in Star Trek The Original Series uniforms. It was like a fantasy come true. Amy in particular, was a revelation. The close fitting top and short skirt showed off her figure and her long legs and her hair had been swept up into a bun, which showed off her cheekbones. However, Sheldon was oblivious to this.

"I'm glad to see that you're wearing reasonably accurate copies of Star Trek, The Original Series uniforms," he observed.

"Now, let me see if I can guess who you are," said Leonard. He surveyed the young women. "Amy, you're wearing a blue dress so I'm assuming. …Nurse Chapell?"

"Correct," agreed Amy.

"Bernadette, you're in red. Uhura?"

"Yes," squeaked Bernadette, "Howie asked me to be Lieutenant Uhura."

"Lieutenant Uhura was black," commented Sheldon

"What do you want her to do?" asked Howard aggressively, "Black up?"

Sheldon looked as if he was quite willing to suggest this but Leonard jumped in by saying "And we all know how inappropriate that would be. Penny, let me see, the only other female member of the crew ever regularly seen, Yeoman Janice Rand?"

"Yes, but what did she do?" asked Penny.

"Oh, just a dull routine job, brought the captain log reports and coffee, much like your job in the Cheesecake Factory," Sheldon told her. "So, excellent choice Penny."

"Gee, thanks," she muttered sarcastically.

"And Captain Kirk had the hots for her," added Howard to Raj with a meaningful look at Leonard that he pretended not to notice.

"These dresses are rather short," observed Amy, tugging at hers. "Clearly an attempt to objectify women."

"But your legs do look great," said Leonard warmly. Neither Penny nor Sheldon looked pleased at that.

"That is an inappropriate remark to make to my girlfriend, Leonard," Sheldon told him.

"So who are you all meant to be?" asked Bernadette brightly, trying to change the conversation. "Let me see, Sheldon, you're Mr Spock, aren't you?"

"Well done," said Sheldon approvingly.

"And Nurse Chapell had the hots for him," Leonard informed Penny in a whisper.

Bernadette carried on, "Leonard, who are you supposed to be?"

"Captain Kirk," said Leonard proudly.

"And I'm Sulu," broke in Howard, unable to contain himself any more. " I should really be Scotty because he's the engineer but I'm too young and hip to play him."

Penny choked a little but said nothing. "And Raj is Chekhov," he finished.

"Shouldn't you be Sulu as you're Asian?" asked Sheldon.

Raj scowled. "That's a very racist remark to make. You haven't said Bernadette couldn't be Uhura because she's white and Uhura's black."

"Actually, I just did," Sheldon reminded him.

Well, you look very handsome as Chekhov," said Bernadette, trying to placate Raj. It was Howard's turn to scowl; he hadn't forgotten that Raj had a soft spot for Bernadette.

"You all do," said Penny suddenly realising what Bernadette was trying to do.

"Bet everyone will be jealous of us walking in with three hot chicks," commented Howard. He was trying in his way to be gallant.

"That's right, rub it in, I haven't got a girlfriend," muttered Raj.

"Everyone will be jealous of us walking in with females, period," replied Leonard.

"Hey, is this fancy dress party going to be really lame? There will be alcohol right? You promised me alcohol," said Penny anxiously.

"Relax Penny," Leonard told her, "there will be plenty of booze".

"Thank God for that," breathed Penny who was starting to have serious doubts about the party.

When they arrived at the party, Penny's worst fears were realised. It was only half full but that half was all geeky guys.

"So where are the drinks?" she demanded.

Stuart, the comic bookstore owner, dressed as the Green Lantern, was quietly boasting to a couple of acquaintances.

"See those Star Trek girls, well, I've dated two of them."

"Did anyone ask where the drinks are?" asked Zack, dressed as Superman, looming up with a beer can in each hand.

"Perfect timing," said Penny, grabbing one of them much to Kripke's annoyance as Zack had gone to get himself and Kripke, who was dressed as Batman, both a beer. In fact it annoyed Kripke so much he put into action a little plan that he had been mulling over for the last few days. He slipped over to the punch bowl and filled several glasses with punch. Then he took a small black bottle from his batbelt and added the contents of the bottle to the glasses. Then he put them on a tray and suggested to Stuart that he take them over to the Leonard crowd. Stuart agreed, pleased to have the chance to demonstrate that he knew the girls.

"Is this alcoholic?" asked Sheldon suspiciously.

"No," lied Stuart who had not quite forgiven Sheldon for ruining his date with Amy and then becoming her boyfriend. Penny who had already picked up a glass, hesitated then drank it down in one go; she didn't want to hurt Stuart's feelings. Raj didn't pick up a glass as he was determined to get drunk as quickly as possible in case any other girls turned up. They all drank some of the punch except for Stuart who didn't like punch. Suddenly, they began to twitch and jerk. Kripke was laughing nearby. Then they all just as suddenly stopped and went rigid. Raj who had been staring in astonishment at their antics, asked anxiously, "What's up with you guys?"

Captain James Tiberius Kirk did not know where he was. Last thing he remembered was he and his landing party beaming up from Scaros V back to the Enterprise. Now he stood facing a crowd of young people all in fancy dress. A young Asian man from the Indian sub-continent dressed weirdly enough as a Star Fleet helm officer asked him, "Leonard, are you ok?" Kirk looked at him in confusion and said nothing.

"Can't you talk?" asked a young thin man dressed as a pirate.

"Can't any of you talk?" asked the young Asian man raising his voice. "Howard? Bernadette?"

"I can talk," said Kirk. "I'm ok."

He wanted to calm down the young Asian man before he called attention to them. To his

Surprise, his voice sounded completely different from normal, younger with a different accent and more nasal. A young stocky dark haired young man dressed all in black, wearing a mask with a yellow bat insignia on his chest and a black cloak, stood laughing nearby.

"Kripke, did you put something in the punch?" called out the young pirate. Kripke, still laughing, nodded.

"But that's really dangerous," fretted the young Asian man.

"Welax Waj, it's just something to relax your inhibitions for a couple of hours. No lasting effects. My buddy who works in phawmaceuticals gave it to me. It's harmless."

"How do you know that for sure?" demanded Raj (so that was the name of the young Asian guy). He swung back to Kirk and the others.

"Can you see ok? Do you even know who you are?"

Kirk looked at the four other people standing nearby who he presumed were the rest of his landing party. There was a tall gangling young man with obviously fake Vulcan ears, a small skinny young man dressed as a science officer, a tiny blonde woman, a taller blonde and a tall, dark haired woman. He did not know who any of them were.

"First Officer Spock," said the tall young man.

"Lieutenant Sulu," said the small thin young man.

"Lieutenant Uhura," said the tiny blonde.

"Nurse Chapell," answered the tall brunette.

"Yeoman Rand," said the taller blonde.

"No, that's the name of your costume," said Raj impatiently. "Your real name?"

Kirk strained to remember how he had been addressed.

"Leonard," he replied eventually. Raj and the pirate turned to the others. "And your real names?" they chorused together. The others looked at each other and Kirk.

"Oh my God, they don't even know their own names!" cried Raj hysterically.

"Calm down Waj," advised Kripke, "They're just pulling your chain."

"That's not funny, guys!" exclaimed Raj.

Kirk decided that he would have come clean. "We do know our names. I am Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. This is my first officer Spock, Lieutenant Sulu, Lieutenant Uhura, Nurse Chapell and Yeoman Rand."

"They really do think that they are the Star Trek characters!" said Stuart.

"This is hilarious," said Kripke starting to laugh again.

The tall young man (who was really Spock) asked Raj and Stuart. "Who do you think we are?"

" Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Howard Wolowitz, Penny Lane, Bernadette Rostenkowski and Amy Farrah-Fowler," replied Raj.

"And what are we doing here?"

"You're at a fancy dress party," was the reply.

"I suggest," said Spock, "that we assume that the effects of this drug will be short-lived and that we will be restored to normality in a few hours or at the worst by tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, my friend said that it only lasts for a few hours," confirmed Kripke.

Raj shrugged. "Ok then but I'll be watching to make sure that they are all right."

"Hey, if they think that they really are the characters from Star Trek The Original Series, we could ask them questions about themselves," suggested Stuart.

"That would be wrong, taking advantage of my friends like that," said Raj severely. Then he giggled. "But it would be fun," he added.

By this time, Zack, Wil Wheaton and Lesley Winkle had joined the group.

"I'm hurt, Sheldon, no one from The Next Generation good enough for you?" Wil joked, his hand on his heart.

"He thinks he really is Spock," Stuart explained to him. Leslie began to laugh.

"Lets hope it's an improvement," she said. "Although how could it fail to be?"


	2. Chapter 2 The Enterprise

The Star Trek Original Series Uchronia

Chapter Two - The Enterprise

Leonard realised that he must have been dreaming about going to the fancy dress party and it had now changed into one of his favourite dreams. He was Captain Kirk on board the enterprise. Spock, Lieutenant Uhura, Nurse Chapel and Sulu were also there. Yeoman Janice Rand was not a surprise, he had dreamed about her before. They were all standing on a transporter and the crewman working the transporter was looking at him

"Are you ok, Captain?' he asked, "Because for a moment there, when you first appeared in the transporter, you all looked a little strange, like you but not like you."

"Yes, fine," Leonard, told him while thinking that he would be even finer if only he and Janice Rand were in this dream. He realised that the crewman was waiting for them to step off the transporter so he stepped off and the others followed him. They all walked out of the transporter room and Leonard got the usual secret kick out of the sound of the swooshing doors as usual. He paused once the doors had closed and the others bumped into him.

"Watch it Leonard," warned Spock, "I can't afford to damage this body with its valuable brain," Which Leonard would have thought odd, Spock sounding just like Sheldon but after all, it was a dream.

"I'm wondering where to go now," he told Spock.

"How about having a debriefing in the briefing room?" suggested Sulu, "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves after all, do we?"

"I'm captain," said Leonard.

"Ok Captain, where do you want to go?" asked Sulu patiently

"The briefing room," replied Leonard.

They walked along the corridor and every crewmember that walked past said deferentially, "Captain". Leonard enjoyed it very much. He hesitated when they had all got into the elevator, which deck was the briefing room on? Spock saved him by saying "Deck Nine." The elevator went down at sickening speed.

Once they were all seated round the table, Leonard hesitated. What could he say? He didn't know where they had just beamed up from. Before he could say anything, Spock said approvingly to Sulu,

"That was smart Howard thinking of the briefing room. As you said, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves and people realise that we're not really from the Star Trek universe."

"It doesn't really matter, Spock," said Leonard, "It's only a dream but why are you calling Lieutenant Sulu, Howard?"

"Au contraire, Mon Capitaine, it is not a dream. I know when I am dreaming. This is real. I am calling Sulu Howard because he is really Howard just as you are not Kirk but Leonard. We have somehow been transported if you'll pardon the pun, to the Star Trek Original Series universe," explained Spock. Then he snickered.

"What?" all the females in the room exclaimed together.

"I said it quite clearly," said Spock tetchily, "We have been _transported_ to the Star Trek Original Series universe. Can none of you get a pun? Now, have you heard of parallel worlds or universes before? Or alternate histories?" Uhura and Janice shook their heads but Chapel said hesitantly,

"You mean like where history happened differently e.g. Hitler winning World War 2?"

Spock beamed, "Excellent, Amy. Well, we are now in a world where Star Trek the Original Series is real so Captain Kirk, Spock, Sulu etc are all real and so is the Enterprise." He gave a happy sigh.

'How do you know she's Amy?' asked Leonard. "She looks like Nurse Chapel to me."

"Simple logic, Leonard. My hero Spock's great mantra, logic. I have somehow been switched into the Star Trek Original Series universe but only in mind not in body too. If that has happened to me, there it is highly likely that it will have happened to my companions too. Amy is now Nurse Chapel. What Howard said to us in the corridor confirms that he is Howard and not Lieutenant Sulu. Oh what a joy to come to this parallel universe out of all the parallel universes that it could have been!"

"Who do I look like?" asked Penny, focussing on the important issue.

"Yeoman Janice Rand," Leonard told her. "You're very pretty."

"As ever," added Amy.

"Obviously, we have gone into the bodies of the characters whose costumes we were wearing," Sheldon told her. "Even you Penny should have been able to work that out. "

"Hold on, where's Raj?" asked Howard. "If we all switched, why didn't Raj?'

"Hmm, an interesting question. One that my powerful intellect will have to solve."

"There's a few other powerful intellects here as well," protested Howard.

"Only Amy comes to mind,' said Sheldon. Amy blushed.

"You say the sweetest things," she told Sheldon as Howard, Leonard and Bernadette glowered.

"And is your powerful intellect going to solve the most important question of all?' asked Penny.

"What's that?' enquired Sheldon.

"How we get the hell home?"

Sheldon stared at her. "Why would we want to go home? I've always dreamed of coming here."

"Well, I haven't and I want to go home," Penny said firmly.

"So do I," chorused Amy and Bernadette.

"If this isn't a dream then I don't think I want to stay here permanently," said Leonard slowly. "Not if I have to pretend to be Captain Kirk all the time.'

"Really?" asked Sheldon. "Because I would be honoured to take up the mantle of Spock."

Howard and Leonard exchanged glances, only Sheldon would think that he was just as good as the great Spock.

"And I don't want to stay here as Sulu," chimed in Howard. "I don't want to waste my time as a navigator. I'm an engineer."

"And a pretty poor one at that. But think of what you could learn," argued Sheldon, "All the technical advances."

"Sheldon, think about it, this is a fictional universe, what new technology? Everyone knows that transporters aren't scientifically feasible." Leonard pointed out.

" So, people in favour of going home, five, people in favour of staying, one. You lose Sheldon," said Howard.

"Back to my question," said Penny. "How in the hell are we going to get home?"

They all looked at each other.

"I'm sure that my powerful brain will come up with a way," said Sheldon airily. "Why don't we just enjoy ourselves on the Enterprise for a few days while I come up with something?"

'Because we are not Captain Kirk, Spock, Sulu, Uhura etc," said Leonard. "You, me and Howard could probably make a stab at carrying out their jobs for a couple of days but what about the girls?"

"What about the girls?" asked Sheldon. "I'm sure Amy will have no problem pretending to be a nurse for a few days with her advanced medical knowledge and as I've said before, Yeoman Rand's job and Penny's job are really remarkably similar."

"What about me?' asked Bernadette. "What does Lieutenant Uhura do?"

"She's a communication expert," Howard told her.

"Howard, Howard. Lets not be fooled by the jargon, she's a glorified telephone switchboard operator. I'm sure Bernadette could manage a telephone switchboard."

Bernadette did not look convinced.

Just then the intercom spoke, "Bridge to Captain."

"Captain to Bridge," replied Leonard.

"Captain, we have something interesting on the viewer, do you want to come and see it?'

"I'm on my way," said Leonard, "Over and out." Sheldon scowled.

"That wasn't correct, Leonard," he scolded. "Please try to stay in character."

"I'll do my best," said Leonard through gritted teeth. "What are the rest of you going to do? Spock, Sulu and Uhura would be on the bridge but what about Amy and Penny?"

"Amy is Nurse Chapel. She would be in the sick bay."

"Why don't I pretend to feel sick?" suggested Penny. "Then I could stay with her."

"Good idea, Penny," said Leonard approvingly.

"So I have to pretend to be a nurse?' asked Amy. She frowned.

"I know that it seems to be below your capabilities but in fact Nurse Chapel is a highly qualified medical practitioner," Sheldon told her.

"More important, is Amy comfortable pretending to be a nurse?' asked Leonard.

"I believe that I can do it. I think my background knowledge will cover me."

"We'll come and see you in a little while and pretend that we all feel a little sick," said Leonard. It was Sheldon's turn to frown.

"I don't believe that Spock is ever sick. It's not realistic."

"Well, make an exception for once," Leonard told him.

'What about me?' squeaked Bernadette. "I don't know anything about what Uhura does."

"She's in communications," Howard told her. "Relax honey, I'll be on the bridge too and I'll come over for a chat and show you what to do."

"Ok, Howie."

"I'm not sure that it would be in your character to do that," commented Sheldon. "I've never noticed Sulu being pally with Uhura."

"Tough," said Howard simply. "Now he is."

"Ok then," said Leonard. "Lets go and face the world."


	3. Chapter 3

The Star Trek Original Series Uchronia

Chapter 3 - Back at the Party

_Author's note - I just want to make it clear that the Wil Wheaton in this story is the fictional Wil Wheaton character that the Wil Wheaton the actor portrays in The Big Bang Theory, therefore he is not the real Wil Wheaton._

"So is it twue that you and Spock are more than just good fwiends?" asked Kripke meaningfully. It took Kirk a few seconds to get his meaning and then he flushed and automatically clenched his fists. The rest of his crew all had their mouths hanging open apart from Spock but before Kirk could say anything, Spock replied,

"Yes, James Kirk and I are more than just good friends. He is my captain and a natural born leader whom I admire and respect." His sincere answer embarrassed Kripke into silence.

"Dude, I can't believe you just asked that question! How rude!" Raj exploded.

"Why don't we all get some more drinks?" suggested Stewart tactfully.

"Good idea," said Wil Wheaton and everyone apart from the Enterprise crew moved off.

Kirk moved closer to Spock and asked him quietly, "What's your view of the situation?"

'I do not have sufficient data to be able to formulate a hypothesis, Captain. Unfortunately we have lost our tricorders. Initial observations would suggest that either we are on Earth in the twentieth or twenty first century."

At that moment Zack took a chirping mobile phone out of his pocket and answered it.

'Late twentieth or early twenty first century I'd say," Kirk told him.

'Or we have been captured by aliens who for some reason wish us to believe that we are on earth in that time frame," Spock finished.

"In either case we need more information." Kirk motioned to the rest of the crew to come closer. "Ladies and gentlemen, we need to go on a fact finding mission to find out what we can about where we are and who they really are. Time to do some mingling with our hosts.'

"Captain," said Nurse Chapel, "might I suggest that it might be easier to obtain this information if we concentrate asking our questions to members of the opposite gender? Studies have shown that often men will answer questions asked by women that they would not when asked by a member of the same sex and vice versa."

Spock quirked an eyebrow.

"Human men and human women," Nurse Chapel emphasised.

"Good to know, Nurse Chapel. Ok, the women talk to the men from that group. We need to establish where we are and what they are."

'But Captain, there was only one woman in that group," pointed out Sulu.

"Good point, Sulu. Ok, I'll speak to the woman and Spock and Sulu, you circulate and see what you can pick up from the conversations. Oh and one more thing, no alcohol, is that clear? We need to keep sharp."

"Yes, Captain," they all chorused and moved off to seek their prey.

"At least we don't have Chekhov or Scotty with us," Kirk commented to Spock.

"Indeed Captain," agreed Spock.

Nurse Chapel approached Zack.

"Hallo," she said to him.

"Hallo yourself. Hey, you look pretty hot in that outfit!'

Nurse Chapel looked down at her uniform puzzled, why did she look hot? Then she dismissed it and concentrated on her mission.

"I don't feel hot but thanks for your concern."

Zack looked puzzled. "Hey, didn't I meet you before?" he asked.

"I don't remember," said Christine Chapel with perfect truth.

"Yeah, one time at a bar but you didn't look so hot then. Wait, didn't you ask me something about my glutimus whatimus?"

"Gluteus maximus," said Christine Chapel automatically.

Zack beamed. "Yeah, that was it. Anyway, Penny told me afterwards that you had had the hots for me. And in that outfit, I sure do have the hots for you. How about us getting it on?"

Christine Chapel stared at him in complete confusion.

"Oh wait," continued Zack. "No, you've got a boyfriend now right? Sheldon Smart Guy. Sorry about that. But if you ever break up with him, give me a call."

"Do you know Sheldon well?' asked Christine.

"I've hung out a couple of times with the scientist dudes but not that well. Still, you don't poach another man's honey, you know what I mean?'

"I do, nice talking to you," said Christine Chapel and walked away quickly. She had just worked out what Zack had been talking about. She had also quickly realised that Zack was not going to be a good source of information. Zack looked admiringly after her. She too also looked back admiringly, Zack was a good looking fellow she admitted to herself and then automatically, her eyes cut to the young man that contained Spock's personality and she sighed.

Yeoman Janice Rand chose Wil Wheaton to speak to. Wil was dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.

"How are you doing?' she asked him.

"Fine, fine," he replied.

"Are you a good friend of Leonard and the others?"

"No, I wouldn't say that. They've been to one of my parties and I've played against them at bowling and our team won. Stewart is the one who invited me to this party."

"So who knows Leonard and Sheldon best?' asked Janice Rand.

"That would be Raj," answered Wil.

"Right. Thanks for your help," Janice told him and turned to leave.

"Wait," said Wil. "There's something I'd like to say to you."

"Oh yes?"

"I feel bad about that time we went bowling and I told you how hard I had taken it when a girl broke up with me and I realised that she had just been stringing me along for a while. I heard that you broke up with Leonard after that. I hope that wasn't because of me." Wil looked deep into her eyes. "I want to make it up to you. I hear you're an actress. `I know some people. Could we discuss it over dinner maybe?"

Janice Rand stared at him. "You are joking," she told him and walked away.

"Wait!" called out Wil. "Do you know that I used to be in a big TV show? Star Trek, the Next Generation. I'm famous!"

Janice Rand ignored him and walked over to Raj.

Kirk approached Leslie Winkle.

"Oh hi Leonard," she said. "Oh wait, no, you're James T Kirk now, right?" She did not say it as if she believed it.

"That's right," he told her.

"How's that working out for you?" she enquired.

Kirk blinked. "Fine so far, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to ask you about Leonard and the others."

She shrugged her shoulders. "This is bizarre, talking to Leonard Hofstadter who thinks that he is Captain Kirk. What do you want to know?'

"What do they do?'

"Well, Sheldon annoys the hell out of me on a daily basis but I presume that isn't what you mean. They all work at the university and they're all scientists. They all have PhDs except for Howard and doesn't Doctor Sheldon Cooper take the mickey out of him for that."

"I'm getting the feeling that you don't much like this Sheldon character," Kirk commented.

"Whatever gave you that idea? Leonard is a sweetie. Howard is quite sweet under all the pretend playboy stuff. Raj probably is a sweetie but since he's never managed to talk to me, I couldn't say for sure. I will tell you one thing, I bet Leonard would really enjoy the fact that he is Kirk and Sheldon is Spock so he gets to order him around."

Kirk began to feel uncomfortable.

"I am the superior officer," he protested. Then a thought struck him; Leslie was talking very familiarly about himself and Spock.

"You sound as if you know something about us?"

"Oh I've watched a few episodes of Star Trek The Original Series but my favourite has always been Star Trek, Voyager. Because of Captain Janeway, obviously."

'Captain Janeway?' echoed Kirk.

"Because Captain Janeway is a woman." Leslie looked at him. "You really do think that you're Kirk, don't you? Leonard would have known that instantly, and argued with me about Voyager being my favourite."

"What is Star Trek?' asked Kirk.

"Star Trek is a science fiction TV series.' These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, its mission to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.'." Leslie paused. "That's always annoyed me, 'Why where no man has gone before'? Why not no human or no man or woman? Of course it was created in the sexist sixties but still."

Kirk's head was reeling. How could she know about their mission statement?

Before he could say anything, there was a loud yelp and a thump. He looked up to see Uhura toss Kripke over her shoulder onto the floor.

"Well, what do you know?' asked Leslie. "I always thought that Wolowitz would be the one to get busted by a girl. I suppose Bernadette has had a civilising influence. Guess I lose my $5 in the pool."

Raj rushed across to Uhura and Kripke, demanding "What have you done now, Kripke? Uhura, are you ok?"

Kirk strolled across to Uhura with Leslie following, and asked, "Everything ok, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Captain," she replied. "Mr Kripke and I had a little misunderstanding but I believe we've got it sorted out now, right, Mr Kripke?" She looked coldly down at him.

"Yeah, all sowted out now," confirmed Kripke. "Can I get up?"

Kirk extended a hand and helped Kripke up.

"I really think you want to stay on the right side of Lieutenant Uhura," he murmured to Kripke, "She's got a black belt in Judo."

Raj was beside himself with rage. "How dare you!" he spluttered. "You are not a gentleman, you are an animal!"

"Relax, Raj is it?' advised Uhura. "I've got it under control."

"His behaviour was inexcusable!"

Janice Rand had followed Raj. Christine Chapel now approached him as well.

"It's ok Raj, may I call you Raj? Lieutenant Uhura really can take care of herself," said Christine Chapel.

Raj looked long and hard at them. "You really aren't my friends, are you?' he asked. "Where are they?"

"I'm guessing that they are where we should be. On the Enterprise," replied Kirk.

"On the Enterprise,' echoed Raj. His face lit up. "Oh what a wonderful adventure to be on the Starship Enterprise! To meet Vulcans, and Klingons, and Andorians with those cute little antennae!"

The crew looked at him and then at each other.

"Captain?" asked Janice Rand. "Is there something you want to tell us?"

"We are definitely a long way from home," answered Kirk. He turned to Raj. "Could we go somewhere quieter to discuss this?"

"Well, Leonard and Sheldon's apartment is definitely empty. Lets go there."

Leslie Winkle had overheard.

"I'm coming too," she said. "This is too good to miss."

Wil Wheaton had come over. "Miss what?' he asked.

"You'd better come too," said Leslie, "You're our Star Trek expert."


End file.
